The song "Beauty for Ashes" by Crystal Lewis is profound. The chorus says "He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair". I love the words, they resonate in my soul; because I have experienced beauty from ashes, gained strength over fear, found gladness from mourning, and traded peace for despair! As I reflect on this beautiful Easter holiday, I am reminded of Christ's ultimate sacrifice just for me. He paid my debt that I may understand true freedom and His everlasting love! Thank you Jesus for what you have done for me!
When our lives are going good, it is so easy to thank God, to honor Him and to remain faithful. Now, when things go wrong, or when we are hurting, why is it so easy to blame God, or ask why He isn't taking care of you?? That seems so selfish to me, and yet I am guilty of that very thing. I have said to God himself, that I wondered if He really loved me; when the truth is, He doesn't have the ability NOT to love. He is love. He is mercy and understanding. He knows my heart and yours when we feel somehow jaded by life. He longs to wrap His arms around you and whisper to you "hey, I am right here". The problem is, we, at times, can't see through the clouds, to see the sun...we cannot find the beauty for ashes.
Some time ago, our church did a cardboard testimony program. It is where the people who participated, wrote out a simple testimony on a piece of cardboard. On one side, the participant wrote their 'trial' and on the other side, the 'victory' was written. Eric and I chose to participate. On one side of our cardboard, it said "Our son -- Gavin Michael Taylor -- Born 4-19-2006 -- Died 4-20-2006 -- Our faith shaken -- our hope destroyed". On the flip side of our cardboard, we shared "Our daughter -- Brooklyn Rose Taylor -- Born 9-11-2007 -- Our faith renewed -- Our hope restored". One after the other, people just like us, shared their testimony, simply stated, on cardboard. This program is such an example of "Beauty for Ashes". You see, each person had ashes on one side of the cardboard (brokeness, despair, sickness, grief, loneliness, addictions, chains, sadness, burdens) and when they flipped over the cardboard, Praise God, they had beauty (forgiveness, peace, healing, joy, fulfillment, wholeness, freedom, gladness, restoration)!! There is always victory in God's plan...always. Losing our son, was the darkest time in my life. I could not see the victory in my sorrow, nor could I find hope in my desperation. I knew in my heart that Jesus was with me, but I just could not see Him through my tears of sorrow. But guess what?? He saw me, and daily, until I finally felt Him, God gently wrapped His loving arms around me, and kept whispering "hey Libby, I am right here". One day, I heard Him, and began realizing that He had not put me in that terrible place; but He didn't run away when I found myself there. Instead, He took me by the hand, and helped me focus on Him, so that I could find my way out. I began seeing more good and less bad, more blessings and less curses, more hope and less discouragement. I began seeing His beauty for my ashes.
Finding out I was expecting again, filled me with excitement and lots of anxiety. It was suggested by my doctor's that we undergo a series of tests right at the beginning of the pregnancy, which we refused. Even though we were afraid, we knew that this was promised restoration from God, and that He could calm our fears, and would take care of us. Brooklyn's birthday, for me, was significant in several different ways. Her original due date, was September 24th. God had other plans. On Monday, September 10th, we were headed to Eric's softball game. He, Elizabeth, and myself, had gotten some dinner and were in the truck on the way to the game (it was about 4:30 or so). At some point, I stated that I had a contraction, and maybe we should stop and purchase a stop watch so that I could time the contractions during his game. By the time we got to Kmart (a 15 minut trip from our house) I had had several more contractions. He got out and went in to buy the stop watch while I called the doctor's office. After a brief conversation with the on-call doctor, we were no longer headed to George Pierce Park for a church league softball game, instead, we were on the way to Gwinnett Medical Women's Pavillion...yes, Eric was wearing a softball uniform with cut off sleeves (God does have a sense of humor). Having had very speedy labor's with my other two babies, we expected to see Brooklyn very quickly after arriving at the hospital. God had other plans. After a very LONG night of labor, Brooklyn made her entrance at 6:20am on September 11th. See the beauty for ashes here??? After she was born, as I sat and held this precious new life, Eric and I watched the news and the memorials for 9/11 throughout the morning. In the midst of all that grief and sadness, still raw for so many, I held life...fresh and new. I sat in awe of the gift God had granted to us. It seemed so significant that she had been born on that day, which was marked with grief and suffering for the world, but how it was transformed into joy and life to us!
I am immediately drawn by these thoughts, to that Friday so long ago. A day marked with grief and suffering then, that now signifies joy and life. Christ laid down His life for our transgressions, that we may have life everlasting! Just imagine, beaten until He was basically unrecognizable, spit upon, mocked. Then He was brutally nailed to a cross, stabbed, and killed....that is the ashes part of the story. Then in miraculous form, three days later, He rose from the grave; my sins forgiven, my debt paid in full....that is the beauty. The beauty of the cross, the Saviour, the one who bore my shame, He has made me FREE!
As you enjoy this Easter holiday, remember Christ. Remember His ultimate sacrifice so freely given. Remember that He longs to hold you in His arms and whisper softly to you, "I am here". He gave everything He had, so we could have everything He has.....beauty for ashes! What a concept, what a Saviour!
2 Corinthians 5:21 "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Blessings!
Libby
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