Waking this morning at 4:30 am was not my idea of a good night’s sleep. That being said, I did not wake up at that time because I wanted to...it was because my "responsibility" was patting me on the arm saying "mommy, I have to go potty". I say "responsibility" because I read a couple of articles yesterday about women who decided not to be a 'full time' parent because the responsibility was just too overwhelming. I have lots of thoughts toward that perspective, but I will maintain kindness while discussing my thoughts... :) I have three daughters, Bethany is 16, Elizabeth is 11, and Brooklyn is 3. I completely understand that children are a HUGE responsibility in this life. (One of mine, at this moment, is interrupting me to ask what we are having for lunch!) I understand that while no one is a perfect parent, parenting is a responsibility, which you cannot relinquish. You may try, but there will be a time, when that responsibility, is staring you in the face asking for answers about your ability, or lack of it, to honor your commitment as a parent. What will you say? If someday, my children ask me about parenting, I will have plenty to say, and it’s all good! Bethany and Elizabeth are both very quiet girls, and were even when they were small; I didn't really have trouble with them. Bethany is actually my stepdaughter, and even though I didn't have her daily, I welcomed our weekends with her. Eric and I enjoyed having her with us, and we learned a lot about ourselves in the early years of our marriage, because we grew closer through that sweet little girl whom God had graciously placed in our lives. In 2000, Elizabeth was born...what a wakeup call from ‘every other weekend parenting’, to every day parenting! However, I loved it. I began to really see the love that God has always had for me, through the love I had for my children. Elizabeth was a perfect baby...slept through the night early on, she had a soft sweet little cry, and the most precious personality (which she still has). I thought throughout the first few years of her life, that these people that harm their children, or leave them, did not have the capacity to truly love them. Then came Brooklyn (2007)...and my opinions of motherhood changed drastically! Brooklyn came into this world screaming, and didn't stop for about 3 months. What a trying time for Eric and I, especially since we were still dealing with the grief of losing Gavin, our son, in 2006. I became a stay home mommy at that time, and happily settled into that role of parenting. Now, though I love being a mommy, there were some days when Eric got home, that I would be waiting at the door to hand Brooklyn off to him, and go to another room, just for a few minutes, to regroup, and wrangle my 'sanity' back in. None of my behavior, in my opinion was abnormal of a new mother. The responsibility can be very heavy, I am not denying that. However, none of those feelings made me less of a mother; just like none of our behavior ever makes our Heavenly Father less of a father to us. It is all about unconditional, unselfish, abounding love! That is our role in life as Christians. Our love should spill out for the world to see. The love I have for my children is fierce, as the Father’s love is for us! I cannot imagine being without them, much less walking away from them for someone else to raise. I do not know what causes people, men or women, to leave their role as a parent. It doesn't make sense to my earthly thoughts, but perhaps spiritually minded; those abandonments could be seen much differently. I think that sometimes in life, things happen that we just cannot understand. Sometimes becoming a parent doesn't cause you to want to run away from life, it just magnifies those thoughts of uncertainty inside of us, causing fear to take over. Once fear takes over, we begin thinking not the way God thinks, but the way man alone thinks. Without the power God places within us, we maintain thoughts of defeat, and a lack of self worth; in turn, thinking that we cannot succeed at tasks at hand, including parenting. Those people who walk away from parenting, in my opinion, have much greater struggles within than just feeling overwhelmed by parenting. Sometimes, when my role as a parent is overwhelming, I turn to the ultimate parent. I tell Him my feelings of fear, and defeat, and uncertainty; and God always hears me. He knows my every care! I stated in my first blog, that being a Christian “doesn’t ‘solve’ all our weakness (troubles) in life, but it does create an atmosphere inside of me that encourages me to keep on keeping on” and I would like to elaborate on that. He doesn’t snap His fingers and cause everything in our life to fall perfectly into place. By saying that having a personal relationship with Him doesn’t “solve” things, I mean that just because I am a Christian, my life is certainly not perfect. I have trials, and I have failures, I have endured hardships that I didn’t understand, but I know that the underlying strength that kept me going, was that I was seeking counsel from the very best parent!! God gave me amazing earthly parents, but there are times in life, that I need Him alone to hold me when I am broken, and to sooth my hurts. God allows us to “feel” reality, because it teaches us to lean on Him, and not depend only on ourselves. I wholeheartedly believe God is always the answer in life! He is the strength in our weakness, the victory in our defeat, the courage in our fear, the success throughout failures, and the perfection through all of our mistakes. I wonder if God thought, at any point in my life so far, that the responsibility was too great to care for me full time?? I wonder if He thought the responsibility was too great to bear as He watched his son die on the cross?? I wonder if He has ever thought His responsibility to us was too great when we, his children, betray him, and walk away from him; renouncing him and all he has to offer us?? God himself, in the flesh, walked among us through his son Jesus....then unselfishly...offered him, sinless, as atonement for our sins, that we may not suffer and die for those sins WE committed. His responsibility to us has never waivered...nor has His commitment to us ever faltered. Thank God for his faithfulness!! We have been given the tools we need to successfully accomplish all that life hands us….be it parenting, career, school, relationships; this list could continue indefinitely, just as His love continues for us, indefinitely! Be blessed today…be the person God has called you to be! You have inside of you, the answer for your friends, your family, your children, and even…your neighbor!
** Romans 8:37-39 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
** 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.
Loving the Neighbors!
Libby T
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